If the spiciest thing in your love life is the cayenne pepper you sprinkled on dinner last night, it could be time to make some changes. If you’re not careful, too many of life’s demands may turn you into roommates instead of lovers.
Luckily, there are some simple things you can do to bring the excitement back into your love life. Here are a few ideas to get you started.
Have a Pillow Fight
You have to make sex a priority or you might never get around to it. According to Oprah, a national survey by the Better Sleep Council suggests, “Seventy-nine percent of women crave sleep more than sex.” So if you tend to wait until evening before getting intimate, chances are sleep will win.
Sometimes you just need a new way to get physical with each other. A pillow fight while you’re getting ready for bed may give you the energy and adrenaline you need to feel like being intimate.
Be Hang-out Buddies
Having time to yourselves is an important part of keeping your relationship strong.
Try to balance your free time so you can take time for yourself and still have time to hang out with your spouse. Go for walks, go shopping together, and put down the electronics in the evening. Whatever you have to do, make sure you have quality time with each other to nurture your love and to be romantic.
Clean up the Bedroom Clutter
Does your bedroom look more like a tranquil oasis or a college dorm room that hasn’t been tidied in a while? “Think about what you can do to make your bed look inviting,” said Ian Kerner, Ph.D., author of “She Comes First,” in an interview with Women’s Health Magazine. Get some new sheets, clean up the dirty clothes or replace your old decorative pillows with updated, matching ones. “A little goes a long way,” said Kerner.
There are so many worries and cares in a marriage relationship that it’s easy to focus all your conversations on the things you worry about most. Babble.com suggests talking about what makes you happy, what your dreams for the future are, what you’d like to do for your next date night, or even say nothing at all — just enjoy the silence and peace of one another’s company without the pressure to fill every lull in conversation with words. Positive conversation and company breed positive connections, which is a key ingredient to a happy love life.
Romance Her in the Morning
In an article in The Daily Mail, Dr. Debby Herbenick is quoted to suggest making time for romance in the morning before you go your separate ways for the day. A little romance in the morning “releases the feel-good chemical oxytocin, which makes couples feel loving and bonded all day long.” Dr. Herbenick also notes morning romance “strengthen your immune system for the day by enhancing your levels of IgA, an antibody that protects against infection.”
Communicate in Code
Liven up your love life with a secret code only you and your spouse share. Come up with a symbol or message that communicates to your spouse whether you’d like to be intimate that night. One couple leaves a quarter on the nightstand to show they’re open to having sex that night. Another idea might be to use a certain word during dinner conversation that signifies your openness. The secrecy will amp up your excitement and suspense and help you feel more in the mood when you finally get some alone time with your spouse.
Go Hot Tubbing
You don’t have to be a high-schooler or young college student to enjoy going hot tubbing. In fact, it’s even more fun once you’re married because you don’t have to worry so much about how you look in your swimming suit or whether you’re making a good impression on the opposite sex. It’s a fun way to relax after a long day and lets you get physically close to your spouse in a different way than you’re normally able to.
Take the time to really connect like making eye contact and having a real conversation about something besides kids or work. And treat yourself to some big, soft bath sheets (the kind that actually cover your whole body and make you feel like you’re at a five-star hotel) for drying off with. When you feel pampered and relaxed, you’ll be more open and interested in intimacy.
Try Something New
Life is filled with the same routines day in and day out, week after week and month after month? Your relationship is bound to go stale if you never do anything new together. Whether it’s trying a new restaurant, listening to a new band, or mixing it up in the bedroom, all of these activities will give you something new to talk about and reintroduce the vibrant interest you had in each other back when you were newlyweds.
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